Hi everyone, and happy 9th anniversary of the IKEA monkey.
Just like that little guy in his gigantic shearling coat, it’s time for us all to venture out into the malls (masked, vaxed, boosted, etc.) to do some holiday shopping for our loved ones. I hope you don’t get too caught up staring wistfully out of an automatic sliding door whose sensors you are too tiny to trigger.
Gift Ideas
Here’s a few good gift ideas I’ve seen this year! If you’re wondering why you should take my gift giving advice, here’s just one example of my prowess: a friend told me that their brother-in-law loves The Greatest Showman, and my earnest suggestion was to enroll him in acrobatic classes. My advice was not taken. Please don’t make the same mistake.
I’ve been asking for these tasting collections from Spicewalla for the past couple years, but they are often sold out! Not only are they currently in stock, they are also on sale! The Mediterranean and Indian collections look really good.
Hot tip for extremely easy unique gifts: buy anything interesting from a store near you that your friends don’t have near them. If you live in rural Wisconsin, this could be some sort of Amish farm store. If you live in a city, this could be Trader Joe’s. People love groceries!!
Have you ever seen anything as cool as this disposable camera that’s actually reusable instead? They call it simple use instead of single use! This way it’s not so wasteful, and you can actually see your pictures.
It is burned into my brain forever that the lipstick that AOC wore while campaigning in 2018 was Beso by Stila. Give it to the democratic socialist #girlboss in your life.
Also in the beauty department, I read months ago on Twitter that Ariana Grande’s perfume (“Cloud”) smells like the water at Camp Snoopy. I cannot vouch for this, but man what a description.
This year for her birthday, my friend Megan and I painted pottery at Color Me Mine, and it was so fun! Other ideas we considered were psychic readings or a cocktail cruise on the Mississippi River. Check Groupon for silly fun activities!
Uh okay, devastating news: my final recommendation, which I’ve been holding onto since January 2021…no longer exists?? It was this brand called Wear Your Snacks, that made beaded bracelets with random foods spelled out on them. Here’s an article from Allure about it, with some examples. I really wanted BAGELS, or BRUSSELS SPROUTS, or DIRTY CHAI, or OAT MILK. Or CHEDDAR, in honor of the newsletter. I wanted to get SOUR CREAM for my sister. But now the website only has like three products, and they’re all for boring things like olives and tinned fish. Maaaaan.
All of my other gift ideas are things I bought for people in real life, so I cannot tell you!
Saved by the Bell Reboot
The gift that I would like for you all to give me is to watch Season 2 of the Saved by the Bell reboot. Before that, watch Season 1. And before that, watch all 5 seasons of the original show. It’s all on Peacock! I’ll give you my log-in! But for real, the second season of the reboot came out in late November, and I finished it last night. It’s SO good. It has no business being as good as it is. HOW are they pulling this off? I laughed out loud so much, and there’s an amazing mid-season plot twist that truly made me gasp in shock. Plus, it’s also cute and sensitive! Coach Slater shows real growth in this season by starting to see a therapist, and I am thrilled to announce that Coach Slater and I have that in common.
In lieu of watching beautiful teenagers terrorize Bayside High School (honestly though, you really should watch it), an alternate gift you can give me is sharing this newsletter with a friend. Also, watch my mini jams advent calendar videos if you’d like.
You’re all invited to my 10 Years of IKEA Monkey party on December 9, 2022. Fuzzy coats and vacant stares all around.
xoxo,
Ali
LMAO this is the first I have heard of an “Ikea Monkey”, fascinating habitat for such a creature.